Go Through It

I cried the other night. A good, ugly cry too. I have been so overwhelmed with life the past several weeks. The responsibilities that sit solely on my shoulders became really heavy in that moment. The life I’m working towards seems to always be another step up. The peace I crave seems out of reach at times. The freedom I desire sometimes appears to have the potential of being unattainable.

I was literally running on fumes just over a week ago as I prepared to write my last final exam in this round of university classes. I kept pushing myself to get over the finish line so I could “relax.” I had full intentions of going grocery shopping and doing some adulting around my condo, but none of that happened once I clicked submit on the exam. I got as far as laying on my bed and staring at the ceiling for a couple of hours. I’m not even sure if I blinked. I was in a daze, maybe even slightly catatonic.

If there is one thing I’ve learned during my journey it’s that you need to acknowledge and process your emotions. Don’t avoid, go through! Crying doesn’t always mean that you are sad. In fact, tears are often the result of a number of emotions that may be happening inside of us. Happiness, anger, frustration, sadness, grief, and anxiety to name a few.

There are times when I have so much emotion inside me and I know a cry will do me good so I’ll turn on a movie that is sure to get the waterworks flowing. Steel Magnolias is most definitely my go-to for a good, ugly cry. Either that or watching any animal rescue reels on Instagram. Have the tissues ready! I do tend to isolate during these periods of extreme emotion as I need the space to process.

One thing I’m really trying to work on right now is asking for help. I don’t know what kind of help, but there are people in my life who love and support me and will say “if there is anything I can do to help, let me know.” What do you even say to this? I often say that the offer alone is helpful in itself, which I believe it is.